I was pleasantly surprised when I heard from our son that in his academy, the phrase “I am sorry” is banned. If you do a mistake knowingly or unknowingly, just take the punishment for that, and try and not to repeat that again. It was pleasantly surprising to us, because we keep hearing “I am sorry/ apologies” many a times from people again and again for the same issue; and it leaves us wonder if that phrase has any real meaning at all.

We believe the root of this lies in the parenting behavior, where as a parent I tell the kid, “say sorry”, and the kid says “sorry” more as a protocol. This is used especially when others are around, and the parent takes on the responsibility for having brought up a “good boy/ girl”.

We are really concerned about the reckless use of this word. How many times have we seen people jumping the queue, pushing you aside in a crowd in their urgency, just by saying “sorry”. I, myself, at many a times in the past, recall having said, “Why are you still looking like that? Haven’t I apologized?”, as though I am entitled to be pardoned if I have said that magic phrase.

1. Having said that, we, sure, are not advocating for punishment as a means for enforcing discipline. That will only reinforce pararAjya (पर राज्य}, not svarAjya (स्वराज्य). Discipline, if not coming from within, will only reinforce mere compliance, not an action arising from a deeper awareness.

We have also observed a practice in some rtviks (ऋत्विक् – practitioners of vEdA chanting) hitting their own knuckle on the ground, if they made any mistake; taking a tangible, embodied consequence for having been unaware. In so doing, they are not only demonstrating self governance (स्वराज्य), but also not hiding the fact that they made a mistake (in most such occassions, I know for sure that no one in the concerned assembly would ever know if the rtvik made a mistake or not!). This is the very essence of svarAjya, isn’t it?

What is the nature of my actions that can create this in the people who look up to me? This question needs our urgent attention. Only when I become aware of this and start to practice this in my everyday engagements, can I play a part in creating  self responsible community. श्रध्दा (shraddhA – sacrosanctity) in my every action is essential for this to happen; and shraddhA grows when I start to do this. This is in any of the role I play everyday – a parent, a Corporate Manager, Entrepreneur, Teacher, Actor etc etc.

The real practice of yOga (योग) is to bring this sacrosanctity in my every action. This is the essential need of the hour today.